No Peace, No Sex?

As it turns out, usurping sovereign land from a peaceful people is a major turn off to its peaceful women. What a shocker, right?

Russia's unlawful annexation of Crimean Peninsula, an exceedingly strategically important swath of land, under the guise of protecting the ethnically Russian population living there has basically pissed off the rest of the world. While government bodies the world over threaten further sanctions against Putin and Moscow it's a movement by some Ukrainian women to make it all quiet on Russia's western front.

A Facebook group with over 5,000 Likes to date has launched a campaign titled Don't Give It to a Russian. Yep, many Ukrainian women are now pledging to withhold sex from all Russian men.

Some Russians have responded by calling the group a bunch of "prostitutes." This is curious seeing how one putting on a chastity belt and not having sex with someone makes them inherently not a prostitute. They're probably just lashing out because they know Russian troops will be feeling as blue as certain portions of their male anatomy are sure to become.

After all, who wouldn't want to have a night of passion with women who look like this?:

If that doesn't make the Ruskies want to use a little more diplomacy and tack in their international relations, especially with the girl next door, I don't know what will.

I happen to live in a mixed neighborhood comprised mainly of young African American families and retired Russians and Ukrainians. While most of the retirees are naturally up there in years, many of their grown children still live or often hang out at their townhouses. With all due respect to the Russian ladies, the Ukrainian women are bombshells, simply drop-dead gorgeous.

If Putin doesn't order an immediate withdraw, I will threaten my Russian neighbors with encouraging the local Ukrainian girls to join their sisters across the Atlantic in solidarity. Even Mr. Insecurity himself, Vladimir Putin, has to have a soft spot for the cries of sexually deprived Russian men the world over. Poor, poor Ivan.

Hey, it might not seem like much, but the sooner the fine people of Ukraine no longer have to fear the specter of Russian aggression the better. If that includes keeping legs crossed so be it. If Ivan doesn't like it, tough. He can go Crimea river. (I'm not sorry. It had to be done.)