Interesting > Not Interesting

Am I going to be that guy who rants about his day-to-day life? Absolutely not. But today ... yes.

I have a general rule of thumb as it pertains to conversations: The person with less interesting subject matter always yields to the person with more dynamic story to tell. My life isn't always a Hollywood thriller. When someone else just experienced something that is, I yield the floor. It just makes sense.

Today, while the hairstylist plies her craft, it comes up I went on vacation to Maine. I wasn't actively searching to expound upon anyone all of the thrills and joys a week long New England camping/hiking trip entails, but when it was brought up, I would think the hairstylist or anyone would yield said floor.

Oh how wrong I was.

Me bringing up how I had just visited Maine gave her, in her mind, the green light to tell me about how her uncle grew up in coastal Maine-- for the next 20 minutes. She described the house, the placement of all four trees, the approximate acreage and it's proximity to the coast. She droned on and on about this for the entire duration of the cut. Did I mention how she had never actually been to this location? She was basing every minute detail off what she saw one time on a VHS tape.

Yup, her watching a brief clip on the video version of a the old rock and chisel trumps my actually being there. My Dad and I scaling a 500-ft cliff face or camping by a raging mountain river takes a back seat to an old home movie with footage of a site and state she'll never actually visit. I'm not sure she even stopped to inhale oxygen once. It was a constant deluge of boredom.

I felt like a hostage. Did I really want to tell the stylist who was half way done with my haircut she had the charisma and appeal of a school bus fire? Probably not in my best interest. When she was shaving my beard at my throat with the clippers, I pictured it as being a straight razor instead and prayed she might put me out of my misery.

It reminded me of one time talking to an ex-girlfriend of mine. Via  Instant Messenger, I told her I had just gotten back from doing something really interesting, helping a lot of impoverished people during a non-combat mission in Afghanistan. Well, apparently her pastrami sandwich and seeing a squirrel in an area where only not seeing a squirrel would be note worthy took precedence going "outside the wire" in a war zone!

Guys aren't immune this conversational faux pas. (See? Not sexist.) Did you know Marine Corps boot camp stories takes precedence over combat missions? Yup, a dude doing push ups in front of a drill instructor takes precedence over the enemy fucking shooting at you in a war zone!

I digress. Point is, if you want to have something exciting to talk about, actually live an exciting life when you can and not do it vicariously through rapidly fading VHS tapes.